Win!Win!Win!

As part of the University of the Phil Centennial Celebrations,the UP Alumni Association of Australia,NSW Chapter decided to hold an outstanding alumni achievement award project.After a very involved and rigorous selection process-the winners were announced at a dinner -dance and awards night.

I happen to be awarded the oustanding alumnus in business and finance.It was a great honour and privilege to be given this award,not that I needed one to validate my business success but much appreciated just the same.The success is largely due to a highly effective husband and wife teamwork. The tensions and hard work in working together can be the death knell of relationships.Thank God we managed to overcome  the problems and difficulties over the years.Thirty two years of marriage and twenty five years in business can certainly be considered as proof of strength and resilience as well as bringing up four wonderful children during that time.

It is worth mentioning that I had no formal business training but I knew the meaning of profit and loss but most importantly of good product and services that I would like to be provided myself.It must be pointed out that without the brilliant product development of my husband there would not be products to market successfully.

My own mother had been involved in different business enterprise all her life.This lady never even got to secondary high school in spite of being an accelerated honour student in her primary grades.She just had that innate instinct for good business.It must be be genetic!

The awards night was a great success.It was also amazing that two guest speakers who are Members of Parliament from opposite side of politics gave such  inspirational speeches that showed bipartisan goals and aspirations for Western Sydney - in true public service and not ego-driven one-upmanship.!

As a graduate of UP- considered the most selective in the country and largely funded by the government- there is a certain degree of guilt for abandoning/leaving the country that gave the opprtunity and joining the brain drain!BUT from personal experience and analysis it can’t be considered a loss for the country at all.Instead-it is a win-win-win situation! For a start,it is a win for the country  because most graduates send financial help as well as being Ambassador of Goodwil for the country left behind.The adopted country wins because it benefits from the talent,education and experience of the UP graduate without havind spent a cent on their education and training.Last but not least,there are greater personal security and opportunity. 

There are those who decide to go back to the Phil after many years of living in different parts of the world-the returnees.I admire their optimism and dedication. At one stage I also considered it but after meeting my husband,bringing up four children, having our business and living in Australia for thirty five year I think it is not going to happen anymore.I will probably remain what is termed in sociology-the marginal man.Product of two cultures but not belonging to any! Anyway,it is now a global village.Two of my children have lived in England for many years.I cannot see them coming back to Australia in a hurry.The cycle continues.  

60th Birthday Celebrations….Almost Perfect!

The day started wonderfully well when my husband presented me a poster with the title “Lolita …  The First 60 Years”He did an amazing job of researching significant events in my life.Having been married for 32 years,he had enough informations to fill in those years but-prior to those years would have been difficult and setting them out in a beautifully balanced grid!Only a mathematician and software developer could achieve!This will certainly come in handy if and when dementia hits!Heaven forbid!

I got the first phone call greeting from my second daughter in London.Really significant-she is often late.My eldest daughter gave the best news-she’s expecting her fourth child in October!Then the youngest daughter handed me a present from all the four children,husband,partners,boyfriend.It was a magnificently crafted and stunningly beautiful neckpiece with 28  semi-precious stones! I also got a long cardigan that made me look cool and hip(but not hippy!).

Flowers were given and more were delivered to the house by so many wonderful people.The house looked like a funeral parlour.I felt it was fitting to tell everyone that no flowers will be allowed at my funeral! Give people flowers while they are alive and kicking!There were many plants for the the garden that will keep on giving.My plants are named after each giver and I talk to them!It will be a worry when they start answering back!

There was a phone call from a sister,  e-mails from all over the world.I certainly felt loved and remembered!My in-laws rang and gave me money which will always come in handy!

Beautiful,well-chosen cards from so many sweet -kind people.

Then it was time for the dinner which was booked at a waterfront restaurant opposite the Opera House.I WAS DRESSED TO THE NINES!There were 10 of us,my friend and her family and my son and daughter with their partners.It was a beautiful setting and I decided to have photos taken before we ate and spoil our (my) make-up!As I pose behind each coupLe-I  didn’t see/realize there were two steps behind the chairs! I went flying and landed on my butt.It was a shock and it happened so fast and so unexpectedly! Suddenly,I was surrounded by people coming from everywhere trying to help me. There was a lovely gentleman who was also a diner who took hold of the situation.He must have been a doctor,the way he handled the situation.Checked where I felt the pain-if anything was broken!It certainly pays to have a Beyonce bottom(or is it Jennifer Lopez?In my dream,more like it!)-my hip was fine,my knees were alright but my left shin was swelling right before our eyes.This guy ordered ice to be put on it.I was able to get to my original seat and rest my leg on a chair and had ice kept on top of it.Very elegant position indeed!This guy gave me some pain-killer to take! I had the presence of mind to ask if I could drink alcohol with it!Just goes to show I wasn’t badly hurt

I felt like a real drama queen! We proceeded with dinner.The food was superb!I was eagerly anticipating the arrival of the birthday cake.The waitress asked for our dessert order.I said we might not need to-after the birthday cake! What cake? There was no cake-my husband forgot to order it!

Coming from a very dysfunctional family,birthday cakes were non-existent.I always made sure my four children had them.At 60,I thought I would get it!Does it really matter?Obviously not!

So, was it downhill from there? Not quite! Thank goodness!The desserts were really nice.

I had more presents when I got home. I love books and my son’s girlfriend gave me this magnificent book”Moments..Pulitzer Prize winning Phographs and their stories from the 40s to the present! “I started reading it in bed!

The next day,I played lawn bowls with my senior citizen friends!I hosted a lunch for them at my home after the game(which I lost!)There were 15 of us.It was a lovely lunch with  the nicest,self-sufficient,beautiful ladies.The oldest is almost 90 and still playing bowls.They are such inspirations!I hope can play until my 80s if not into my 90s.God willing!

Then,I’ll be going to the cocktail Gala Opening of the Antique Fair.Should be nice!

Somehow,it made me think of some of the birthday highlights I have had over the the years..one was hosted by my children at the Wolseley Restaurant in London where Bill Nighy greeted me and kissed my hand!Then there was an afternoon tea at London Ritz where the piano player played Happy Birthday as they presented me with a little cake with such pomp and ceremony-the Brits are famous for! There was a lovely one in New York when my daughter and son-in-law booked a white stretched limousine to take us to the most exclusive restaurant.There was also  dinner twice at The Ivy in London!There was my big 40th birthday at the Couchman, 50th on a cruise at Sydney Harbour on the Endeavour Sailing ship replica with my late mother.Not to forget my first birthday in Australia.I turned 25 and it was held at the RSL Club in Orange-prawn and  oyster night!What could be more Australian than that?My host Fred and a friend and her mum where I was staying were well known identities in the place.Somebody took our photo.The next day, we were featured in the local paper.

Overall,there were many great moments.I just hope it will not be downhill from there.My son pointed out that the first sign of old age is lack of balance! I am learning to dance Flamenco-I intend to disprove that.It could be the start of growing old disgracefully!

To everybody who made my 60th so wonderfully special,my heartfelt Thanks!

 

 

   

An Afternoon of Music

Well,this Philistine is certainly getting a huge dosage of cultural experience lately!And the best at that!

My husband and I got an invitation/complimentary tickets by no other than the famous conductor himself-Paul Daniel CBE who has conducted at New York Met and all over the world! He is now going to be the Principal Conductor of Western Australia Symphony .The resources boom certainly affords them the best in the world.

How did we get this privilege? He happens to be the fiance of my daughter’s very good friend in London!Hence,the opportunity.We realized we had great seats when the NSW Governor Prof/Doctor Marie Bashir came in with the three members of her entourage to occupy the seats in front of us.

Paul Daniel conducted the Sydney Symphony in Brahms”Fifth Symphony”Having met the conductor a few years before I really concentrated on his performance.It was absolutely mesmerizing watching the movement of his baton!? and the fine nuances of his amazingly expressive fingers and the effect on the music-the movement and sound!When his whole body and hands move to a huge finale or crescendo-one can almost feel his whole body ready to fly!One gets transported to the realms of the Gods. It was a sublime experience to be right there at the magnificent Opera House.

Sometimes, when I am alone in the house I put on classical music in full volume.It is one of my favourite time to spend an afternoon.To experience it live and witness a great conductor in full flight is a rare privilege indeed.I thanked all the people involved in having the opportunity.

My husband and I went to the stage door to wait for him and thank him personally.He apologized for making us wait because Governor Bashir came backstage to congratulate him.I didn’t have a bouquet of flowers to give him and gave him some chocolate Tim Tams instead.Sublime to the ridiculous perhaps,but fun! He happened to be free so we got the chance to drive him around to wind down and had a lovely seafood dinner at Watson’s Bay.

He is such a sweet guy and so normal(whatever that is!)and unassuming!I had to ask him how he could remain so nice when he gets such kudos and adulation in the highest realm of the musical world.The way I understood it as he explained it-It is basically the fact that he is performing a job to the best of his ability and shouldn’t really make his persona any different.”To walk with Kings and keep the common touch”Gibran?

Some people who let fame get to their heads has lessons to learn from him. May he live a long and healthy life and continue to entertain,mesmerize,transport to the extraordinary more people in the world and remain a nice guy!Beautiful music is truly the food for the soul! Thanks Paul!

 

On Turning 60!

Why does turning 60 makes one introspective?Or is it only me?It leads into a journey towards spirituality and search for meaning of life.I feel I have done the duties in supporting my extended family financially,emotionally ,educationally and morally and it is now my turn to dig deep into my soul and innermost being.

Wipe a clean slate.Live for the moment and enjoy the Power of Now!I can’t help thinking of a few of my close friends who passed away in their fifties or early sixties.

I somehow have this feeling that time is running out-being closer to the end than the beginning!So much to do and so little time so to speak.

My husband and I went to the Temple on Friday in memory of our dear friend Eric’s birthday.He would have been 60 had he lived.I wondered how many of his friends remembered him.He died six years ago and left millions to friends,charities and educational institutions.I supposed that was his legacy.All the people whose lives are better because he worked hard as an Orthopaedic Specialist and never even married.So many shared the fruits of his labour.

He gave an extravagant party to all his friends during the year that he got diagnosed with liver cancer.I wonder how many of those friends remembered his birthday?Does it really matter?

There was my friend Gerry who died at 58.We were both College Lecturers in the Phil.I migrated to Australia and then convinced her to follow.It was a harrowing experience seeing her fighting for life and losing it.Her bravery,love and dedication to her family knew no bounds.I attended her daughter’s beautiful wedding early this year.As I saw her walking down the aisles,I think I wasn’t the only one who was seeing her through eyes blurred by tears.Somehow,I felt my friend was there.I would like to believe that spirit lives on forever.

Then I can’t help thinking of my late mother and father.As one celebrates a birthday ,it becomes a memorial for the parents who gave you life.I say a silent “Thank you” to them.In spite of a difficult,dysfunctional childhood and family life-getting older makes one look at the bigger picture.The sadness and pain in the past are less significant as the understanding and realization sink in.My parents did their best considering what they themselves had to overcome.One is less judgmental although the goal is -not to be!I have to work harder on that.

I look with great hope in the future.I have tried to do better and avoid the mistakes that I judged rightly or wrongly my parents  made.I still have regrets.I wish I didn’t hit my kids in the name of discipline because I should have known better.But I hit them less than I have been hit! That is a feeble if not pathetic excuse.My eldest daughter doesn’t hit her kids and yet they are beautifully behaved-most of the time!She has her methods and it works! 

I come to another realization in this aging process,I am learning to be more forgiving of myself  of mistakes I have made over the years.Nobody can ever understand how hard I am on myself and how high my expectations are.It is a constant source of frustration if not stress.I have got to learn to just go with the flow.Keep repeating my mantra”This too shall pass.”

I am learning to shed negative feelings and attitudes towards others.I am also more forgiving of others but forgetting doesn’t happen unless one has dementia.One learns to move on without the burden of negative emotions.Live,leave and learn.

I see the future in my children and my grandchildren.With God’s guidance and help given to me over the years-may theirs be as blessed.My hope and hold on immortality.

So with my aching bones,silver hair which is now blonde and the love of my wonderful husband,children and grandchildren,may the remaining years be bright!Less pain-being pain-free is too much to ask.

When the end comes-we all get there! (It is the greatest equalizer.)I would like to be able to close my eyes and say”What a life!”Many thanks to all whose presence made it wonderful,funny,interesting and  even to some extent -painful and unpleasant!It made the great times even more remakable.

I will continue to tend my garden,make quilts for all my loved ones.I tell the recipients-”It is like my arms around them when I am gone.”There are many books I would like to read and music to listen to. And, of course,I ‘ll dance Flamenco! Ole!

The Opera Carmen by Bizet

Coming from a culturally disadvantaged background,I finally got to see a live opera production! What better place to see it than the Opera Theatre of the world famous famous Sydney Opera House.

It was a truly magical experience. The set  was stunning to say the least.The donkey was understandably placid but I was almost waiting for the horse to bolt!And when it took a bow in the end by bending one knee-it was almost surreal that it didn’t stand up on hind legs and “Neigh”after the massive applause.I almost half-expected it.

I love Flamenco dancing and the dance performed did not disappoint. I am now inspired to create my own Flamenco dance to the music of Carmen.Music is really food for the soul.It transports one to a sublime experience.The emotionally poignant singing makes one feel the anger,joy or sheer pathos.The whole casts played their role magnificently to create such a sumptuous production.They ought to be congratulated! Bravo! Jolly well done.

This live production was beamed/telecasted all around Australia and I am glad many people had a chance to see it.

I have always regarded opera as only available to the privileged class,hence ,I have a certain resentment towards it.Tickets were pretty expensive.Mine was $140.00 on the farthest,highest seat from the stage!Nonetheless,I realize it is a very expensive production and the ticket price is even subsidized by the different sponsors otherwise it will be more prohibitive.So,it’ s wonderful that they beamed a live telecast of the show.It doesn’t compare to being in the Opera House!
In spite of the great experience I have had,I doubt I’ll go to another one unless Placido Domingo performs in Carmen.I wouldn’t care what the ticket price would be!

I’ll remain a philistine! I’ll stick to musicals. I love them.I have seen a lot, Lion King in New York as well as King and I with Marie Osmond,Sunset Boulevard at the Princess Theatre in Melboure .It was even more memorable because I took my mother to see it as well as Miss Saigon in Sydney.When I saw Elaine Paige in London singing the evocative Don’t Cry For Me Argentina in her role as Eva Peron in Evita! I was hooked.There were a few disappointments i.e West Side Story with Marina Pryor.Warlow was great as the Phantom!Boy From Oz was absolutely superb.Wish I had seen it again in New York but I saw it again in Sydney with Hugh Jackman!That was beyond description!I can go on and on but I won’t.There are just too many to mention.

I have seen an Opera but I am not converted! 

The Vertical Hour by David Hare

I went to see this play  by Sir David Hare at the Drama Theatre at the Opera House last night. This would be the fifth play of this brilliant playwright that I have seen. The first one was Amy’s View with my favourite actress Judi Dench  on Broadway in New York,the second one was Breath of Life with the two Dames Maggie Smith and Judi Dench in London. Then I saw the great man himself perform a one man show Via Dolorosa in Sydney and Stuff Happens last year. His plays are just brilliant and leave you thinking for a long time creating parallels in one’s own life and belief.

It somehow disturbs you from your comfort zone and makes you wonder what your life would have been given a different environment and challenges.

The quick repartee and concise but biting remarks leave you reeling from its effect!

I salute Sir David Hare! No wonder he was Knighted.May he live a very long time to produce more work that will disturb us from our self-satisfied indifference and malaise.

I, for one,will try to be aware which will hopefully lead to some sense of responsibility and  involvement in worldwide issues and current events!The seed of intention has been planted by the writings of this great man .Time for action!   

Secret Garden

There is something about working in the garden that nurtures the spirit,gives a sense of peace and contentment.

I have the great privilege of owning a garden in a city with the highest density of population.I don’t think one ever owns a garden ,I think the garden owns the gardener!

This garden evolved over twenty years. I divided it into garden rooms that serve different purpose or use. There is a large covered area furnished with antique French wrought furniture and lovely cushions. There is a Teepee in a corner that I call my Sacred Space where I do my meditation.I even went on a silent retreat in the middle of winter,sleeping and eating in the garden for three nights and four days.It rained most nights and and it was absolutely freezing! I could have gone inside the house but I chose to stay out thinking of the homeless people who didn’t have any choice. It is a humbling experience.

I designed and created a memorial corner with a fountain in memory of my mother who loved sitting in the little tea-house in the opposite corner. It is a wonderful place for contemplation and reflection. I feel close to her whenever I take some time to sit there.I planted different types of bulbs that flower so beautifully.Since my mother was buried overseas, this place serves as chance for me to offer flowers in remembrance of her birthday and death anniversary.

There is a mural on one wall depicting a pond surrounded by trees which gives the place greater depth and serenity.

In the middle of the garden is a circular area devoted to herbs and fruit bearing trees. There are also roses that provide companion for the herbs.This area serves as my mandala for my walking meditation.

It is such a rewarding experience seeing new growth and beautiful blooms appearing in spring as well as the dying back  in autumn. The eternal cycle of life and death,beauty and decay is maintained.

Although not quite self-sufficient yet,I have planted so many fruit trees-lemon,mandarin,guava,mango,fig-that I know that it will just be a few more years and I’ll be able to share my harvests. There is nothing like the joy of giving produce from ones own garden.

May not be carbon neutral yet but I am on my way!The water restriction made me decide to install an outdoor bath and shower(Yes!My garden is very private,surrounded by high walls!Should really be named Walled Garden.)to be able to use the grey water for the garden.There is nothing like having a lovely hot bath under the stars.

Even the middle of my driveway has been planted with strawberries. I got sick of pulling the weeds growing in the decorative red pebbles. If weeds could grow,why not strawberries? Voila! The strawberries are thriving and giving tasty fruits.

It is such a relaxing and rewarding experience working in the garden. The best part is being able to share it with friends.

Randwick City-My Special Place

26 January is Australia Day. I decided to hold a luncheon to celebrate my 35th year in this country. Most of the people who came were migrants like myself.They are mostly schoolteachers-retired and semi-retired. We are certainly getting on but not quite ready for the waiting room of God i.e.Retirement Homes,not yet anyhow!

We had so much fun remembering the mistakes we had made(old age makes you laugh at your mistakes!),the culture shock,the extreme homesickness and loneliness.

Being a migrant for whatever reason-economic,political persecution or absolute desperation -still entails a deep sadness and bereavement that may take a very long time to overcome. There are such high hopes and expectations of the adopted country and adaptation can be very challenging. There is also a tendency to idealize the country left behind forgetting the reason for leaving. The hankering for the old familiar places,people and smell(good or bad) could be painfully real.

It took three years for me to adjust.I used to cry myself to sleep.But then I met a man I fell in love with and moved to Randwick where I have now lived for thirty two years!

Where is it?It is six kilometers(4miles)from the Central Business District of Sydney,a historic residential suburb coveniently close to the many treasures found just beyond its borders.There is Centenial Park to the north,200 hectares(over 400 hundred acres of beautiful rose garden,duck ponds ,equestrian and other sporting facilities,bike tracks and playgrounds for kids.The Randwick Racecourse to the west was the venue when the late Pope John Paul came to beatify Mary McKillop and will now be the venue to be used for  the World Youth Conference to be attended by Pope Ratzinger.Beautiful Clovelly and Coogee Beach to the east were holiday destinations for many people. The well-equipped Prince of Wales Hospital and New South Wales University are located to the south.It is well serviced by public transport although walking is very much favoured.One needs not own a car!A big plus for the environment.

In spite of being a city with one of the highest density population,it has remained a friendly village where people give a friendly smile,a nod,a comment about the weather or a “How are you?”This may seem odd for a total stranger but it is just normal on this side of the world.How are you?-being a greeting ,not a question.

A daughter of mine who studied and now working in London carried this friendliness when she first got there.She told me that when she was walking to the tube station one day she met an old lady and she told her “What a beautiful day?(rather rare!)”The lady answered”Yes,indeed!”BUT Do I know you?When my daughter answered”Not really.Just want to share my appreciation of this glorious day”She said”How nice!” as they went on their separate destinations.

So,what makes a place special? The location,the people or one’s hopes and expectations!I believe all of the above!More importanly perhaps,are the inhabitants of the place.

There was a group of men who used to sit at the corner of the park.They indulged in their love affair with alcohol.As I walked past them regularly I used to give a nod and say “Lovely day” or “Isn’t it cold/hot whatever!” Someone will always respond the same way as I maintained my walking speed until one day someone called out “You’ve been away?Love”I stopped , turned around and said “Yes,I visited my children in London”He said”We thought that might have been the case.Glad to see you back”I said “Thank you” and went on my way.I was moved .I had been missed by these people because I took a bit of time to acknowledge their existence.From then on I made a point of letting them know I’ll be away and they always tell me to have a safe trip.

Unfortunately,one member of the group was found dead one morning.He was a diabetic.To have problems with alcohol and homelessness,he was living on borrowed time.

There is a lady I often see walking her three poodles.She wouldn’t be out of place in Paris.

There is a couple from Spain.They are getting more frail each day but their faces light up when I talk to them in my little Spanish!

There is a group of Asians who meet regularly without really intending to.They go to the same spot exchange recipes,inform others of special sales. The kids have grown,finished University and new kids ,young families come and go.I provide community service as a Justice of the Peace to witness signatures on documents and certify copies of documents.

I love this vibrant,happy community. It is not perfect but what is?

I hope I can live and enjoy this place for a long time to come.God willing!

  

Gratitude

I read”Tuesdays With Morrie “by Mitch Albom two years ago. It is a true story of a man’s journey  towards death-difficult and painful, but very uplifting and inspiring! It could have been harrowing and terribly confronting but the indomitable courage and strength of spirit that was lovingly observed and recorded by Mitch of his former teacher’s steady decline and loss of control of the most basic physical functions and the matter-of-factness acceptance of help without resentment must have been an honour and privilege to witness. May we all be blessed with such dignity,hope and acceptance of the inevitability of death.

I then read Mitch Albom’s “Five People You Meet in Heaven”.

Just as inspiring! It got me to think back in my own life and the people who had a role and had influenced me in what I am today.   

I had to start with my own mother. It was only shortly before she died that I found out the horror she had endured during the war.Suffice it to say that no woman should ever suffer such indignities. Most importantly,she survived it. She had to marry out of necessity and to save her parents and brothers and sisters. At the end of the war she married my father.This time she married for love but loved too much and carried the burden of bringing up eight children. Whenever I feel a little low I only think of her and I get out of the doldrums-quick-smart!

She wanted to be a teacher but didn’t get the opportunity so she insisted that I become one.She lived her dream through me. I wanted to study law!

Then there was my first love who convinced me to study at the most selective school in the country. I had the needed school marks but not the determination to compete at that level. Love conquers all.He was going there so I did too.I lost my first love but I gained a science degree at a prestigious university.

This in turn made it possible for me to migrate to Australia as a fully qualified schoolteacher.

While studying for a Master’s Degree at Sydney University, a friend who was also doing the same course invited me to attend a graduate student’s party. It was a stormy ,wintry evening.I was ready for bed and reluctant to go but relented in the end.Lo! and Behold! This was where I met my wonderful husband(a Lecturer at a different department)who became the father of my four intelligent,beautiful and responsible children.My friend also married a Lecturer and had three children.Our husbands were friends and still are!

There are also those who extended unconditional love and friendship over the years and has continued to do so.

I even enjoyed,relished the kindness of strangers.On the plane to Sydney,I sat beside a lovely couple. We chatted and they found out that I didn’t know anybody in the country.Nobody was meeting me.They didn’t know I had very little money as well. Before we parted at the airport,this gentleman came up to me and told me “Young lady,I don’t want to go through life forever wondering whatever happened to you. You must come with us until you get a job !” He turned out to be a Member of Parliament. I lived with them.He rang the Department of Education and demanded that they give me a job since I was holding a certificate from them that I was qualified. They agreed to give me an interview and I received my appointment a week later.

My love and gratitude go to all these people.I have had a very fortunate life. There were many difficulties that I had to overcome,near death experience from a car accident as well as critics,detractors,people with malice and evil intentions.All these made me who I am today.I take the good with the bad.It makes for a well-balanced life.

I would like to thank them all. I don’t have to wait for death or meet them in heaven.I am so grateful for meeting them all on earth.

For any wrongdoings,sins of ommissions I seek forgiveness.

On my kitchen window sits a plaque that states:

I shall pass through this world but once,

Any good thing therefore that I can do,or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature,let me do it now,for I shall not pass this way again.